My odyssey

still haven't tasted any Raya cookies/kuih yet ... like last year, probably will not either this year. haiz ...

Saw snippets of The Producers: The Movie Musical, Nathan Lane is wonderful to watch, a talent who is a hilarious comedian but also a great sing and dance man. If anyone has watched Lion King, he is the voice that makes Timon such a delightful character to watch.

Watching the characters break into songs and dances makes me want to do it as well ..... and I did, irritating my dear with my antics hahaha. I feel like doing so often at work but it will be strange coming from me. Already people commented surprise whenever I joked with them. I can't be myself there as I don't feel like doing so. Maybe I feel not necessary to be the person I normally am when I am with my loved ones. And to people I consider my friends.

Though having close friends is still a dream for me, I have accepted my fate. Maybe then I can be a more happy person. Having expectation is not healthy when it is unlikely to come true.



For now, I will find solace in songs that touch my heart. Like this Dayang raya song. I may not know the title or what the words mean, but her version comforts me with the melody. Thank you Dayang ... and Zana for introducing this song to me, well in a way you introduced it when you put it on your blog last year. Or was it two years back haha. For the moment, besides the raya song (which I will still play when Hari Raya is over), other songs like Erti Hidup, Seindah Biasa and Pudar will be my comfort when I am feeling frust or sad.

It has been a long journey, an odyssey I called it on moblog, an emotional odyssey for me. Especially last year and early this year as I struggle to win the friendship from those I felt could help me. I didn't purposely choose them, just that they came into my life, and I felt good with them. Unfortunately they are not keen to have me as their close friend, and I have to accept that. They could have help me but I suppose I am not fated to win their friendship. But they will always be close to my heart. I will always be their friend if ever they need me. I will want to be there for them still.

Life is short and the journey is a struggle that we can't avoid. There will be good times and there will be times that you wish never have happened. We have dreams. It may not always come true, but it is still good to dream. My dream is to have a close friend or two. For the moment, it will remain a dream again. And a dream it will forever be.