Friendship that be, friendship that be not

Went down to Arab Street, but was disappointed, so headed down to Geylang. Nicer atmosphere there. Got myself a slingbag. And ate vadez. It seems everytime if I went down there, I would buy vadez haha.




Everytime I see a group of friends spending time together, I feel envy. I just hope that they will know how to appreciate and treasure their friendship. It seems that some people don't. Recently I overheard someone remarked about one of her friends. People tend to rather leave their friend alone, ignoring them if there is sign of problem instead of trying to find out why and maybe sort out any misunderstanding if any. Sometimes it may work, but at times, it will only cost the friendship to lapse. If one really treasure the friendship, one should make an effort to talk to the person. But some people don't bother as they have other friends, or know they can always get new one easily. Maybe sometimes it is best to let go, but some friends are worth trying to keep. Too bad the mentality is that new friend is easily attainable, so why bother to solve any sign of strained relationship. Sad.

I am rather emotional, and if I feel good about someone, I rather try to keep my friendship with them, even if they will not reciprocate the feeling. Even if they do not wish to be my close friend. Call me stupid, call me silly, but I treasure those that I consider friends even if we are not real friends in reality. They will always be special in my heart.

Heard about Su, finally, although very brief, and I do not fully understand her condition. She is given hospital leave because she is weak, maybe till her time to deliver. I wish I can visit her, as what a friend will do, but I know I can't. May God looks after her and her baby.

Chris birthday has passed, I sent an email to wish her. She didn't really reply, just like any of my emails in the past. Oh well, obviously she didn't want to renew our friendship. But I still care for her as my friend.

All I ask from any of them is their friendship. I need them ... as a friend that I can confide, spend time together, helping each other. Whatever reasons they may have for rejecting me, I will not question it. To them it may seem valid. I wish they will talk to me about it, instead of just ignoring me. At least then, I can understand why.

I know what I want from their friendship is not easily acceptable, as male-female friends are hard for others to understand. Added to that are our difference in ages. I know it is possible, or at least I want to give it a try. I almost have it with Chris. At that time, she almost fulfilled my dream of having a real friend. For a short while, about a month, I got a friend. But suddenly she just stopped. Till today I still don't understand why as she didn't bother to explain.

Life is so unpredictable! When one thinks one finds happiness, it may disappear in an instant. But it is part of living. One part of mine has gone even before it really begins. It continues with my recent effort to find friends. It is useless to feel good about some people, if they don't care about wanting your friendship.

Am I destined to live life without any close friend? I often ask myself this. Perhaps it is ....

Seindah Biasa

I don't care if I still have my cough. I ate ice-cream this morning, for breakfast haha. And how nice it is to eat chocolate again, starting eating them two days back.

The thing about me puasa is that I don't have anybody that I can join when it is time to break fast. Officially I have no reason to do so, so it is between me and Him. That is how it should be anyway.

I like this song Seindah Biasa when I first heard it sung by Suki Low in OIAM. This original version is sung by Siti Nurhaliza. I love this song.


Btw, can anyone tell me what Seindah Biasa means? haha

Circumcision and circumstances

Weekend was here and gone, without me venturing into any mall, haiz. Missed the chance of getting this Vaio on offer, wrong timing. Didn't have time as I got to work early the last few days. Still two more days of the same. I can't wait for my off day so I can go look for this Fried Mars. Looking forward to try it, heard it is delicious. And also to go Geylang or Arab Street maybe. I haven't had malay food this past week. I want to eat spicy food, eat those kuihkuih.

Read in the newspaper about this female circumcision in Egypt. How gross! A 13year old girl died while having her clitoris removed! How can people do this and cite it as religious? The country has banned it but some still practiced this inhuman "circumcision", sometimes done by a barber or whoever else in the village. People, well the men in particular, often is the culprit, not the religion.

"As a male society, the men took parts of religion that satisfied men and inflated it. The parts of the Quran that helped women, they ignored."

How true this often is. Even in the Christian world.

Sometimes I wish I can live life differently, but in all due circumstances, I may still ended up doing the same thing. I may not like the result, but there is nothing else I can do, as we are living at the mercy of others action, or inaction. No matter what people will tell you, that you are the master of what you do, in truth, we don't. Life is inter-related with other lives. We can only learn to accept it, and hopefully, learn to be happier with what we have.

20th September

Thursday, one more day till the weekend cometh. Though it makes no diff to me actually. There is still the resonating echo wherever I go, the sound of my cough. Sometimes I tried to dull the sound, but when it have to come, it comes, right down from the chest, as though I may accidentally cough out my lung one of these days.

Su is on hospital leave, I don't know what happened, I do hope she is okay, or will be.

I miss them, all of them. I wish I can just sms them. Haiz....

I may not fast this year. Somehow it doesn't feel the same. Last year I was so interested. I may tried to find the time to read again, maybe that will bring back the mood to want to fast. Yesterday did tried, but tired so didn't get much pages done, three pages only. And I had been reading this book more than four months ago. Very slow progress. I have forgotten what was in the 1st chapter already. Maybe I should change another book, and later come back to this one, hopefully haha.

I did bought several books few months back but haven't put in the effort to read them. Perhaps the idea of getting the books were more exciting than actually reading them. I guess it had always been like that, even when I was collecting my comics when I was young. Hey, there were still several (to put it mildly as it is actually alot hehe) comics I haven't read, and it had been many many years already haha.

As I was saying, weekend does not mean much when one is working on shift, except that if I do get the chance to go to the mall, there will be plenty of things to see, compare with weekdays. Did anyone go the nike sales at Suntec yesterday? I didn't have time to pop in, think it should be good, the sign said up to 80% discount. sigh, what a waste!

September is ending soon, soon it will be December. Is this how I see life, by months if not days? Give me something to hold on to the day, that will want me to wish that it will stay still .....