friends will leave...

I am selective in friends, preferring few close friends. I don't want friends in word, but need friends in companionship. To spend time together whenever we can, as time is short. To care for them. One by one they left, or will leave, without me getting to build that friendship. I envy others for getting the time with them, that I don't get. They get to travel, do many activities outside of work. Even at work, the other colleagues had bonding time with them. I am a failure, a loser in friendship. I treasure friendship and do not let little issues affect my friendship. All I ask was for them to accept me. But friendship needs 2 people to make it happen. I had given myself the chance to look for close friend, I did find a few. now before I get really depressed, I must accept that I will not have any close friend.

my dream is a dream only.

My dream, my wish ..... Why is it always so hard to have a close friend? My dream if having a close friend seems so unattainable. It is not that I haven't one. In fact I found a few that seems so likely, but turned out a failure. My fault. I was stupid to share how I felt. They were not even a friend. I am only an uncle. I took their friendliness as wanting to be friend. They were just being kind. I don't blame them for misunderstanding me. I wish they had talk to me first. But they were angry, and anger has never been reasonable. I will not try to explain, don't think they will listen anyway. Haiz .... I am always unlucky. I only regret that I have lost any chance of being friend with them. I will like to visit them when they get married, to see them at their happiest moment. I miss them already.

Dear WH, I can't express how grateful I have been in having you around, but I will try. For maybe I may never get the chance to say it. Let is short, friendship last much shorter. Some we lost because they left us, some we let go because for one reason or another. I dont have any real friend outside, the only friends I have are my colleagues. Yet I can't really say they are friends, for once work is done, I suppose the friendship is done too, till the next day haha. I really need someone I have as a close friend. Someone who care for me as much as I care for her. A friend that I can confide and share what I feel and done. And I will listen to hers too. It hasn't been easy for me, I have found a few I like as my close friend, but failing each tome. I have been unlucky always. This time I found four, but yet to know if it will work. I don't know if you will accept me either. But this I know, I will treasure knowing you, and the others, and in my heart, you all will always be my friend.

I rather see them happy.

Sometimes we do certain things because we want to make ourselves happy, but not knowing that we may stress the people we care, making them unhappy. Relationship, be it among family or friends, is a delicate process of understanding and respecting each other and each other space. The bond can only be there if we make effort to build the relationship. I will not give stress to people I want as my friends by asking them to please me. I want to see them happy, see their smiling faces, even if I may not be the one they are smiling at. I rather be the one unhappy.