if things are not fine .....

At time like this, if I had been someone close, maybe they will have let me know if they are not well, if things are not fine. I want to be able to do something for them, to be of help to them. Instead of knowing it when everything is over. And not have done anything. That is what not being a close friend is, you can't get to do things for them. You are not needed.

year 2011

2011 ... new year, old fear ... that I will never get a best friend. Not that I don't have anybody in mind, have a few that I like and feel comfortable with. But it takes two to build a best friend relationship. Just not my luck ..... as usual.

Getting older, in more ways than the age. No matter how young one feels, things are never the same as time goes by. Memories, bodily functions, these things will not function in good condition forever. Life is predestined to end in death.

Time to give up ....

blog

Perhaps it is just as well that I don't have access to my PC as often nowadays. Maybe it is time I stop blogging. Who reads anyway? Not the friends that I treasure, friends that I want to share, knowing about their lives and telling about mine. Why should they bother about my problems?

I do care about theirs if any ....

Maybe I should finally do what I have been telling myself to do ... keep quiet, like I used to be.

It is time to end my blogging, and be the nobody.

Erti hidup .... the insanity of my life ......

August 1st

Suhaili's birthday is coming, wondering if I should wish her. I can drop a message on her facebook. Probably she will not even acknowledge my message, as often she had chosen to ignore messages that I sent.

She could have been my best friend ....