Pain attack

I had the pain attack again yesterday. Haven't felt it for a while, and it was really painful, could hardly move without feeling the pain. Sitting down was okay but the moment I stood up I felt it. I shouldn't have gone to Parkway, it was a torture trying to head back home, I could hardly walk my way to the bus-stop, then from the bus-stop to my home. Gosh, it really hurt.

I was lucky Nd responsed to my sms. I guess I needed someone to sympathise my pain. I guess everyone needs a listening ear, just whether one can get one when it is needed the most. I know I can't depend on Nd to be there everytime, I am not even a friend, just a colleague. But I do seem to want her comfort when I am troubled. Fate is so unfair to let me find someone, yet not able to do more about it.

Risk ... I was told not to take unnecessary risk. At my age, maybe I shouldn't bother about taking risk. Sooner or later, my time will come. Why bother to spend unnecessary money on things, when it can be use to better use!

Talking about risk, I took another risk at work yesterday, ignoring what I had to do, but instead went to the aid of this lady with a infant in arms. She needed help. It wasn't the first time I ignored my duty, previously it was to help my fellow colleagues. At least I could do what I enjoy, helping people I care. I wish I can always help all of them, at least it gives meaning to my life.

I need to give myself ... then I feel more fulfill. I feel needed.