Crying

Watched "Fire with Fire" on cable on Saturday, about a young guy in prison who met a student by chance. When the both of them touched, first two palms touching, then the fingers wrapped each other, I felt their love, and I couldn't help the tears swelling in my eyes. As again in several scenes.

Caught a rerun of Smallville too, and again I cried. It seemed I did it too often the last couple of days. Again yesterday when I watched Heroes, season 2. I felt as if I was there, was part of the shows. Heroes, Angel, Buffy, Smallville, Tru Calling etc etc many of the tv series are no longer showing. But these shows make me cried and laugh. I wrote about it in my Moblog days about some of the shows.


Crying to myself seems my only option nowaday. Whether watching movie/tv or my own situation. As when I thought of my lost, my guinea pig. As well as someone, no, especially someone that matter so much but I will never get to see her again now she is no longer working here. I cried. The realisation that she will be gone from my life, no matter that I may still have her contact number. But what good will that be, when we can never meet. I didn't even get to see her on her last day. I wanted to get a last chance to spend time with her, but was too chickened to ask her, fearing that she may not have the time, and I would be too disappointed. Now I will never get that chance. Yesterday, as my mind wandered, I wanted to sms her, I needed someone to chat, but I didn't. What good will it do? She was never keen on sms chat with me. She wasn't two days back when I messaged her. I don't want to be disappointed again. I can only cried.


A grown man cry. I am emotional, I know, but have grown more emotional lately. sheesh ... I ought to shoot myself .......... but not now ....

Right now, I just want to cry ......