Choco no more

My guinea pig has died.

I can't hear Choco asking for food anymore, making his whining but yet adorable sound. He was the one who would welcome me when I came back from work. He would know that I was back long before anyone in the house would. He knew somehow.

The worst part of his death was that I wasn't around when he died. I was busy having a good time. I was angry. I have told them not to overfeed Choco while we were away. Guinea pig don't need much food or water. Still they did it. I came back to see a whole bunch of veggie and his bottle was half filled, he probably drank the other half for knowing them, they would fill right to the top.

But I know they don't mean for him to die. If anyone is to be blamed, it should be me, for I wasn't there for him. Not even till the day he died.

In moblog, I refer him as the One who waits for me. Now I have no one to wait for me. I need to feel wanted. Choco made me feel wanted. Except for my family, I have nobody who wants me.

I wanted to cry, but no tear was shed. I don't know. Why do I loose those I care?

Whether they go away or just stop contacting me, it is still the same, I loose those I want to be around. And someone is leaving soon ... another person who will disappear from my life ...