Farewell ....

Z, I can understand how it is to lose someone you loved alot. May you find someone better than him. Do take care, I will miss you.

I am losing so many people that means alot to me recently, and it may not be over yet. Will adik be next? I want them to keep in touch, but who am I to ask this from them. I know that I am not important to them, but they are to me. Everybody has his/her own problem, me included. But I am willing to listen to theirs. That is the difference between how I see them and how they see me. Maybe we don't get to meet up, but sms will do for me. Maybe it is the only venue for us to keep in touch. But even that I am denied.

Friends help each other, staying by their sides through good times and especially the bad. That is why they are called friends.

I added another name to my list, which I should have done long ago. Quiche was the reason I started blogging. If there is anyone I like to share my life with, she will be the one. At least I was wishing she could be. But she didn't want any part of me.

Each and everyone in my list (heart2heart2stomach) is important to me. Without whom I would have gone insane long ago. I have especially chosen the few of you to share my thoughts. Those I knew from my workplace, though I had given this url to Didy I don't know if she ever read this blog, while the others don't know of this site existence. But if they had accepted me as their close friends, what I had posted here, I would have shared with them readily.

To those of you I only knew online, you are just as important. That is why you are in the list. That is why I was sharing with you. Throughout my blogging days, you have helped me at one time or another. I wish we can be more than just online friends, but I don't expect so. Thank you, we may just be online friends, but to me, everyone of you is important, and I do care.

Especially Z, you are the first person that I grown attached to, even though we never met. That is why it hurts when you didn't want to let me part of your life when you are troubled.

It makes me realised that I can never be important to anyone. As long as I am not part of their close friends.

I don't feel like blogging anymore. Even as I write this, I feel the tears coming. I have grown too attach to things that I shouldn't. I know if I continue blogging, I will get too personal and emotional, keep writing about the same things, things that is hurting me, deviating from things I want and should blog.

Thank you, tragedic, hitchic, jAs, blackcat13 and especially Zana, I appreciate your friendship. I don't want to lose anyone of you, but I know sooner or later you will stop blogging, and disappear. Perhaps it is better I stop dreaming first.

Maybe su, adik and didy will never read what I had written here, but all of you are dear to me, as if you are really my close friends. Frankly, to me, all of you are the closest thing I have to having a close friend.

It hurts that I have to give up this blog, as it is a point of contact from me to you, but I can't go on dreaming. For wanting and needing a close friend is a dream that I know I will never have.

The song from this video was the 1st malay song that started my interest in malay song. And changed my life. The first time I heard it was from Zana blog. I still love this song. More important is that it is linked to Zana and Nd, whom both I may have lost forever if they choose not to keep in touch with me. But they will always be close to my heart ... and never fade ...


Take care my dear friends ..... all of you will always remain in my heart as my close yet distance friends :-)