sick, physically and emotionally

One thing about me, even if I am sick, I can still eat, sometimes more, as often hungry haha. At times like this, when I am sick, I wish I have somebody to chat, to distract me from the pain. But it will not happen, as I don't have anyone close who is willing to humour a sick man. This is suppose to be my best month, but even before June came, the last week of May saw me suffering pain from my wisdom tooth. Even after it was extracted, the suffering never stop. Up to today, my mouth still hurt now and then. Besides the surgery part, I developed an ulcer around the same side. At least the swollen left had gone. Physical pain, as well as emotional pain. Deciding to give up those I had wanted as my close friend gave me so much stress. I don't really want to give up. I needed them, but they don't need me. They have other friends, I don't have. I wanted so badly for them to accept me. Most probably in time maybe, just maybe. But there isn't tome. Anytime we may not work together anymore. I fear that out of sight, it is easier for them to forget me, as I haven't been include in their circle of friends yet. And then, there is the day when they will be leaving. Leaving forever out of my life probably as we will less likely to cross each other path again. I should have not started seeking their friendship, just like the others, because I know we can only be friends for a short time. I want longlasting friendship. I couldn't get any from the locals, even less with the foreigners. Being sick physically isn't as bad as the pain you get from being emotional.