Being there for me ...

What can I say but thanks Samsidar, for being the only person who has accompanied me even though she doesn't intend to eat. I do appreciate that alot. Even if we don't get to be close friend, I will remember it. And blogging about her makes sure I do haha.

I suppose giving up my hope of finding a close friend has lessened my feeling of wanting. I have gone back to the thing I used to do, to not wanting someone for company. If there are, good, if not, don't expect. Still, I do cry once a while, feeling the emptiness inside, of not having someone else besides my family. I still believe a person needs a close friend. Life shouldn't be revolved around your own family alone.

Yesterday I had a chance to talk to Suhaili, but it was only two lines, and about work. She didn't seem keen to talk to me. Like how she was before. Maybe she felt uneasy seeing me, I don't want to make it more. I have to acknowledge that I can't gain her friendship again. That makes me feel sad ... everytime. I still feel she would have make a good friend, she could have helped me.

It is sad that we can't always get what is good for us, that we can only make do with what we have, though I do appreciate having that. I suppose that is better than nothing. I can't help wondering, why do things have to be temporary? I wonder how long Samsidar how be there for me before I loose her companionship too. I don't want to think about that, only that she has been there for me.