sadness of life

I miss them.

The last few weeks, I felt the same feeling, that of lost, as I lost people I wanted so much to be my close friends. I still need them. But I can't as long as they don't need me. I have lost the 4 yrs, I believe more. I don't want to count, it makes me more frustrated. That other people can spend time with them but I can't.

It is sad that one can't be with people that one wishes to be with most of the time. To be there if they need us. I know that. I know that everyone will have to live their own lives, often away from those they care. I just can't help feeling the sadness of being unwanted, that they can live without me.

I read in the newspaper, of people who are staying on with their no-good boyfriends, claiming love, to be by their sides. Yet there can be better boyfriend around, who don't have the opportunity to have a girlfriend. How unfair situation can be!

Nobody can predict who makes a better boyfriend or girlfriend. And later on as husband or wife. The same goes for true friends. That is the sadness of life. Someone is lonely out there at any time, without a friend by his/her side.

I can't guarantee that I can be the friend that they want me to be. Maybe that is my consolation feeling as I surrender to my fate. But I know that I will treasure their friendship.

I want to be happy for them, even if I can't make them happy ... for their happiness makes me happy too.

Time is moving on ... I am still what I was before ... without someone I can meet up, chat at anytime we want. I am still without someone I can claim as my close friend.