To be able to join the girls ...

Someone changed shift with me so she can go have a girl's night out. I wish I could join as well. Afterall, two of them I have treated as my "friends". I have only my colleagues to depend on if I want a group outing. But they don't involve me in their outing. I guess I can't expect them to accept me since I am not part of their circle of friends.

Why do people have girl's night out? Why can't it just be friends? I rather be able to join the girls than the guys. Not that I have any guy's nite out in the first place haha. What matter is who one will be comfortable with. And what they can share in common. I seldom see guys going out for lunch meet when I went out with my dear for set lunches. Often I see a group of ladies. I wish I have a lunch buddies beside my dear to go with. Of course she can join along too. I like group makan session, I can share their meals too hehe. I am always the official person for any leftover in my family haha.

Somehow, I enjoy more having female companions, as friends and confidante. Sometimes I wish I am a female too, so they can easily accept me. But I am not. And I don't have any female buddies who will let me join them in their outings. Haiz ...

Weekend is here. I got one more day to work on Sunday, then I will be away from my workplace for a week. I need the break. But if only I can go KL. But they don't want to, and it will not be fun going alone. I think I have lost the urge to do things alone. Maybe I should find it back. Since that seem to be the direction I am left with. And to keep my sanity.

There is only so much I can do with my dear, and there are times she is not keen on what I want to do. Neither are the kids. Maybe I do need to go clubbing alone, go on trip alone, if I am to avoid my frustration from building up. Is this what married life is about? Doing things alone when the family doesn't want to join you? And you got no friends? I have tried to avoid that for many years, giving up what I want for the family sake. I still will I suppose, but inside me, I want to ....

But I don't know .. I am at a lost.....

I want to eat donut .. been screaming for it all week. Weeks actually haha. Okay, I did had one last week, but .... still want more donuts, sooooo, will get a dozen or two ...

Enuff said!

TB and GSS

ZANA IS IN LOVE WITH TAUFIK BATISAH! but so do million other females hehe.

This week was not a good week as my work timing don't give me much time. I couldn't make use of the opportunity to do shopping. I couldn't gain from the Great Singapore Sale!!

Maybe they should make GSS a 24-hour event haha. But I don't feel so into the GSS this year, maybe due to my constraint, in a lot of things. Haiz, a man who loves to shop but lost the reason to shop. sigh!!

Nd gave me a good news, hope it will be. I miss her being able to see and chat with her, even though it was not often.

Few days more, and I can stay away from work, and the people that I thought I could depend on. At least, for a week. As usual, they have disappointed me, time and time again.



I seek not much,
but still I need.
Why can't they help,
at least my feed?

more ice cream, less dream

Yes Fad, I know I shouldn't have too many ice creams, but heck, I had the set meal at Just Noodle again. That means, I had my ice creams again haha. Again, ice cream was the appetiser, while waiting for the main course to come, and of course as the dessert, six scoops of deliciously cold yummy ice creams.

I was hoping, dreaming of going clubbing, a colleague gave me hope, she said she would call me, but there was no call. Probably she changed her mind. Not the first time. I kinda expected it I suppose, but still I was disappointed I couldn't go clubbing. Again. My dear didn't want to go either. So, unless I went alone, no clubbing for me. Again. I didn't feel like going alone. Not anymore. It has been a long while since I last went, I really wanted to go. Haiz ....

Saw part of Van Helsing when I came back from work. I did saw it before. Frankenstein, Dracula, Vampires, werewolves! Jackman and Beckinsale! The story ... more than creatures of the night, it was a love story.But .... He killed her as she saved him. Such cruel destiny for Van Helsing. But it was his destiny ....

ice cream and me

Had set lunch at Breeks at Marina Square. This giant photo of ice-cream is so dreamy haha. The set at Breeks comes with ice-cream scoop. And it is nice and creamy. Though I enjoyed my meal at Just Noodle the other day as it came with unlimited ice-cream ;-) the more the yummier!

I am already craving for the mango ice-cream I ate at Just Noodle haha. Think I wanna to back there for my unlimited ice-cream again ... soon.

I had been indulging into plenty of ice-creams the last couple of days, even at home, and I wonder how long my tooth will last. I believe I got one bad tooth, I felt a hole. Oh well, nothing last forever. Especially certain thing that I wish can ....

x

choc-a-day .... food a day

my chocolate for the day.

I am still keeping to my favourite diet of a chocolate a day, thought I do miss it time and again. But if I can remember, I will dig into my fridge for a piece of chocolate, not the whole bar of 250gm, thought at times I do feel like doing so kekeke.

Yesterday had lunch at Just Noodle at Suntec. Now the set meals come with free flow of ice-cream as their dessert, besides the free flow of drinks, peach tea, coffee, cappucino or soft drinks. I had my ice cream as appetiser while waiting for my set to come haha. And later had six scoops of ice creams, though I could have more except I don't want to overeat as I was full from my meal already, as well as including my partner leftover. I like the mango flavour. Maybe next time will not order the side dishes, then I could have more ice creams haha.

Read in the newspaper about people who wasted food with their leftover. Well, if they had me around, there will not be much leftover to throw away. I am always the one to clear any leftover at home or when out eating. I always feel it would be a waste if something can still be eaten. I can't remember when, but when I was younger, someone or maybe something I read, said that people out there are hunger because they have no food, and here in Singapore people are wasting food. It was a long time ago, and yet it is still happening today in Singapore, and elsewhere.

Life is unfair. Will people experience hunger before they change their habit? But then, maybe not too. Haiz ....

Danity can?

Danity Kane new album is out.

I don't know if I should get it. So far from what I get to hear, I only like two of the songs. I suppose because I saw the dance video of the songs, that I make me like the songs hahaha. But sometimes some songs need time to grow on a person before one finds it nice to listen to.

While looking for DK songs, I found this video.


Found this clip of Danity Kane's new song, StripTease, the clip is a dance class by Luam. This Luam is fantastic, I like her style, so varied, strong yet often sexy. My kind of style hahaha

cake,

Tea time at Secret Recipe. Simply delicious!
Couldn't remember which cakes I had the last time, ordered this, mango and the banana chocolate, and think it was the same as last time haha

tick tock tick tock

Life goes on .... tick tock tick tock

Blogging is something I have no option as where else can I let people know what I have been up to. I wish that things can be different but it isn't. I need someone that I can sms often, so we can exchange info on what we are up to. In fact, I do have people that I have in mind. But, they are not interested. Eh, I did mention that so many times in my previous post haha. Nothing change since then .. oh well.

Read in the newspaper about people switching off handphone and computer for a day .. I guess I can do that if I want to. Even longer as people don't contact me anyway. But it will mean I am cutting myself off from the only option I have of keeping in touch with people I want to keep in touch with. Which is bad for me. Even if they may not want to keep in touch with me. I need them. If only they realise how much they mean to me.

Have been trying to distract my mind from the feeling of loneliness when I am at work. By doing work ... and more work. Even those jobs that I am not suppose to be doing. Maybe hopefully I will collapse from overwork, so I got an excuse not to come to work haha. Not that I care for the company, but because I want to help my fellow colleagues. To reduce their workload. Because I know how it feels not having people to help me. So in a way, because of my frustration that my colleagues do not bother to include me in their activities, I have became more useful to them. Not that I care either. I am just doing it to keep myself busy. More busy I am, the less time I have to feel sorry for myself. I know people make use of me. It doesn't matter. There are some colleagues that I do still wish can be close friends, but I have stopped wishing it. I just want to be able to help them with their workload if I can.

I don't do things for them and hoping for something in return. Not even friendship as I know friendship cannot be bought or forced. I do things because I like to, because I want to see them happy. I know I am silly as usual. But that is what I am, to those who really know me. In my negative-thinking, broody persona that I have become, inside I am still the silly guy, who still feels he is 15. OR 12! Whatever age I feel like at the moment haha.



I am still doing silly stuffs when I am around people who accepted me. I am still excited when I see hiphop dancing. Not ballroom which often people relate me to because I am OLD in real age. I suppose I am a modern Peter Pan, the guy who never grow old ... at heart. Even when I am growing old in reality haha. I wonder if I will still think the same at 100 .... if I live that long lolz haha.


I guess I can't keep away from blogging, no matter how much I try. It is my only outlet of expressing myself and what I did. A diary of my life.

Tick tock tick tock .....